My calender takes shape

Wow, when I look at my calendar I have strange feelings coming up.... 52 days roughly until my surgery... Can I still run away? *lol* just joking, I won't do that, nah... I cannot believe that in two weeks it's already June. Okay, slowly, slightly I am getting excited and nervous. In a way I still cannot imagine all this, how it is going to be, what feelings I will have, how I will think about this, how the recovery process will be and all this. (O_o) I'm thinking too much.


What is good about all this is that later I will hear, it will take me time but I will. I do believe. I only hope that I will not get in this dark mood if I don't immediately see the result. I must hang in there and it will get better and apart from that, the other thing that is good is that I can WRITE POETRY about my exprience of being hearing impaired / hard of hearing and soon being wired!!! :O


That's amazing. I'm proud of that. (^.^) After one year it's quite addictive (did I say it right?) and I can't seem to stop. I want to write more and more and increase that number where I am at the moment. I know this picture doesn't fit into this title but I couldn't find the one with my calendar, where half the days are almost crossed out - next time ;)

Where is the surgery date?

If I'm not mistaken I have 57 days until my surgery... wow, somehow I am coming closer and faster to that date... than I expected. I wonder am I not required to do some blood donation for myself? You know, donating my own blood that will be given to me during the surgery?? Duh.. I'm thinking too much. I know.. btw, in two days I'll have my last vaccination which is required for the surgery and then I'm done and can wait for day zero to come :o ...
Can you see this little "stripe" what is it called this little "bracelet" which I got from the hopistal? Can you see it? Yeah... I kept that, yes... it reminds me of that time so I'll leave it in this box for some time. In two weeks it's already June, wow :/ how did that happen!! Time is passing by very fast, too fast sometimes and too slowly other times. :)
I'll keep this here short as I have to go to work very soon!
Thanks for reading!

Last time listening to my ipod | before I get the implant

I was listening to my iPod. It was a strange feeling knowing that this will be the last time that I'll hear naturally with my own ear, this year... and without a hearing aid before I get the implant. I increased the volume, it was already very loud, to its very maximum so that I could hear and I did hear it a bit. What a strange feeling. I'm going to write about this as I want to remember all this. I'm not sure if I will miss it but if I don't record it I will never know. Soon I will get wired. What a strange feeling. I'm not scared but just thoughtful. The day will come soon when I'll be excited and worried *lol*


I don't have much to share right now. I feel blocked to write some poems so I'll try to find a way to overcome this writer's block ... :) I feel a bit tired and I didn't sleep well last night. I need some inspiration. I tried to write something today but it just doesn't sound good and I have stopped before I actually started, no I stopped after the second paragraph :)


I only did a back up of my files and anything on that list I haven't managed to do :) There's time, maybe next week. Weekends are just so short and I don't feel like making a video right now and I'm about to sort out my poems but I just feel so tired and I'll soon stop that. I didn't sleep well last night. I need to be a bit more in the flow when I do this but I do feel good today. :) Just a bit tired. I want to be published before I turn 30 and I am sure it will happen, I already came this far and I'll show that it IS actually POSSIBLE!! wow, what a great thought, eh? :)))) I hope I'll write some more today, I'm not sure, I feel very tired right now.

Thanks for reading! :)

Next vaccination for the cochlear implant due in 2 weeks

Bionic Poetry Girl, May 08, 2010

What a boring weekend! *lol* Okay I won't complain, it could be worse. I want some more excitement and I want to be a published author!!!!!!!!! I will become one, I WILL :) It just takes time. In the meantime I'll keep writing. I need to build up my amount in case I won't be able to write one day.. *huh* scary thought! :)

Okay, here's a short update. I had my vaccination last month against "meningitis" and in two weeks I'll need my second shot :) The vaccination procedure went very well and I didn't have any side effects from that. Okay I did. I had a bit of head ache an hour later which I think was because of the vaccination but later I felt better. I'm not someone who likes to get a vaccination. I don't like the side effects that some of the vaccines have ...

67 days until my surgery ... wow, .... am I nervous??? Huh, well right now I don't have the time to be nervous :) but I am thinking about it very often, how can I not when I have this calendar on my wall and see it every day :) I wonder how I should use this time that I have with my old hearing before I get the new one. I want to keep notes of those two months before a new journey begins, somehow I feel stuck. Anyway, I have more things to write about but let's keep each new post separate!! Will write more later!!

My to-to-list for this weekend

Hi there!! It's been a long time.. I know. I'm quite suprised that I'm still awake *lol* because I'm awake since 6 AM and feel quite tired right now. Just thought to quickly post something before I call it a day. ;) It's been a long day. I will write more over the weekend. I removed my last blog because I was not so positive and didn't want that to be there although I would have loved to hear your comments. Never mind! More intesting stuff will come soon, if I only have the time to post it lol, I feel so tired..... thanks for reading!

Coundown till the surgery | 79 days ...

SLIGHT EDIT: there are 79 days.. I made a mistake lol will update it soon...

Hi there! I'm sorry it's been a long while ... I was too busy and haven't had the chance to keep my blog up-to-date. I did a lot of writing in the past few weeks and I'm already at 30,000 word count on my story that I'm writing. I'm just writing a bit less as things have changed a bit. I'm back at work and have less time to write. I try to do both, continue to work on that story and write here and there some poems but today I feel totally blocked. My mind was somewhere else and not where it should be.

I made this calendar so I know how many days I have left till the surgery. I rather want to know how many days there are left rather than to know what day it is today. Wow as of today 80 more days .... huh, I'm bit excited but not sure I have mixed feelings. Right now I am calm but very thoughtful and very tired so I did not get much to write today. I am feeling a bit blocked. I guess I have a writer's block, sort of ... :)

I put this calendar on my wall and have it right in front of me. It feels strange to have it here on my wall. I printed it only in black and white as I ran out of "color ink" :)

I will end this blog here. I don't know what else to write ... will write more when I come closer that that day "zero" :) Thanks for reading!!

Day 11 | Still the same day

I felt like writing again. This is really addicting. When I was outside for a walk, I switched off my hearing aid as this beeping when I turn left or right or up it makes beep. Why? Because my hearing aid is set very loud and is very sensitive to movements or when something comes close, so I just switched it off because I didn't need it. It was a long walk and I was sure that I wouldn't bump into anyone.

So I was walking there without hearing a sound. It was strange. I looked at the traffic and the cars and felt like that I did hear something or maybe that was just this - knowing what it sounds like that you start to think that you do hear it - you get it? I still do hear but not 100% you know but when I was walking I didn't hear anything at all since without the hearing aid I hear nothing or very, very little. So I was walking there and looked my feet and felt the vibration but no sound, kinda strange if you ask me.

I still feel very frustrated that I cannot hear well but I try to do other things to distract my mind till I have the other MRI check, before I can speak with my doctor! I stopped by at the local stationery and bought some new pens. Yeah I love it, this shop is like heaven to a writer *lol*. On my way home I bumped into one of my friends from the sign language course. I am not attending the Spring course because I started to work and it just didn't work out with my time schedule. When I saw her I quickly switched on my hearing aid and it took me some 6 seconds till I could hear her. I told her that I have those problems with hearing again and we chatted a bit. She was so nice and spoke slowly and with her lips you like expressing it more so I was able to comprehend. She did also sign a bit when I couldn't hear what she was saying, which was cool. I so miss sign language and I'm so out of the course right now. I feel like I forgot most of it.

Anyway, she told me that there's a free group meeting I think on Monday, not sure if I did understand her right, and everyone can come and practice a bit with the other people. I will have to send the deaf center an email asking when that is. I'm not sure that I got the information right. She did show me a message telling her when that meeting would be but I had no notes with me so I couldn't take notes and now I think I forgot the details*lol*. Anyhow, I look forward to next week to meet the group.