Switch your program back and forth

Hi there!!


Yesterday I called my relatives outside and I couldn't really understand them at first... later on during the conversation I tried to press one of these two buttons that I have behind my processor and see there.... all of a sudden I could understand my granny's voice clear! :O no background noise but the voice itself was just perfect :)


I should try more often to change back and forth. I have three programs with different settings ... it's just that I do not always want to change and switch programs during a phone call as I won't hear in those few seconds when I do that. I fear that I'll miss what's important. Though today I was like "wow it works" :) I should experiment more often because it is quite helpful when you can adjust your hearing to different situations.


I don't like to experiment with my *hearing* but I will try it more often next time.

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Med-el cochlear implant

I went to my audiologist as I needed a few papers to copy yesterday. When I came I saw this implant from med-el on the table. I took it into my hands. It's one that he shows to people who want to get an implant or who are thinking whether to get one or not. It felt so weird but awesome at the same time. I have a similar in my head though not from Med-El but a Nucleus. The electrode here in this picture was so flexible! WOW! I asked my audiologist if I may take a picture. He said yes :-)


Hm, I begin to ponder... this could be my second CI one day... if .. IF.. that is the question.. if I'll decide to get another one? Though there's no big hope for my other ossified ear. Hm... why? Because I never head out of my right ear. I never trained my hearing nerves to the sounds? How could I, when this ear is ossified?? A lot more than my left one. 


So will an implant help me to hear, I will never know unless I give it a try... It's so frustrating that I don't have a lot of encouragement from some people. I understand. No one guarantee me that I will hear with this electrode. The worst outcome could be total failure, no hearing at all with the implant. The best outcome would be that I hear a little bit, something... so .. do I want to risk another surgery just for this bit of success? For something? Damn it !!! YES I DO WANT! 


So yes one day I will risk it so that I can have a peaceful mind as it doesn't give me rest... this uncertainty ... and the longer I wait the more I long for an answer... but please don't push me.. you may tell me your opinion but I'll let you know when this will happen one day. Until then I still may rant about it... how much I'd like to have an answer...


Thanks for reading!
Will write soon!


Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

A day without SOUND

Hi!!


Hope you all are doing great! How's the weather over there, at your place? We in Salzburg had really hot - HOT summer weather today!! I got a mild (that's an understatement) sunburnt. :)


I have a little experiment for you! or you can call it a challenge but that sounds like you have to do it. So let's say it's a little experiment! That sounds much nicer. :) Could you imagine to live a day without sound? Would you be ready to try it for one day? For just 24 hours or less as you probably won't count the time when you sleep? 

Would you like to try it out, just for one day? Why do I ask this? Well, I was inspired by a friend of mine on Facebook. I would like you to try it out. No one who has not experience deafness longer than a few mins can say "Oh I know what's like not to hear". You cannot say that unless you experience silence in real life, in your daily schedule, while doing errands, doing your job etc. You will know the answer if you do it at least for a day. Just to put your fingers into your ear say oh yeah that's it, just won't do it ;)


If you are courageous enough to do it, here's one thing you'll need to get, some ohropax. You can find it at almost every shop that sells make-up or at the chemistry as well. Get those and then you can start. Squeeze it until it's little and then put into into your ears. Inside they will fill up the space and fit into you ear.


If you decide to do that for a day, please make a video blog about or share it in a blog about your experience. How did this new "change" make you feel? How did you cope with the missing sound? and so on ;)


It's an experiment to understand the silent world. It's a world that I also share, regardless of my CI or not. I am deaf and hearing too and yet I like it both. I can adjust my ear and simply switch it off if I need silence ;)) And being deaf doesn't mean I'm stupid. That phrase reminds me of a poem I wrote. I will share it some other time!



Will write soon!

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Table of Contents - Can You Hear My Poems

Welcome!


Today I'd to share with you my table of contents of my poetry book! I got my copy this month. There are various poems inside that all tell my story from beginning to the end; of my life as a hearing impaired, how I got my hearing loss, my cochlear implant surgery and the outcome of it all :) It's a nice debut and I really like it!

Take a look inside ↓

I will make a poetry video and read out one of my poems from my book but I'll wait with this a bit, I can't make up my mind which poem to take. Any suggestions?? Which one would you like to hear?


I would like to give Graeme Clark a copy of my book as a gift for him! I am sure he will enjoy this poems as they tell about the feelings, fear and hope! I contacted him and he is very interested to read it :) I look forward to hear his first impression of the poems.


I'll keep you posted when I sent him my book and when he gets it :)

If you would like to get a copy, you can obtain it here:
At the Lulu store

But also at The English Center Salzburg:
Here's the link

Thanks for reading!
Will write soon!


Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

The area around my cochlear implant flinched .. weird (??)

Hi there!

There's something really awkward that happened yesterday morning. While I was at work, I felt the area around or where my magnet is stuck to my head flinching. This spot started to flinch, the skin.. not very much but I could feel slight movements. When I wanted to touch this spot to feel it, it stopped... but after some time it started again but each time I wanted to touch it to feel it it stopped.

I know that lower eyelids can finch when you're tired and didn't get much sleep or it's something else but *head-flinching* is totally new to me. :-) Not my inner ear but the skin  where this magnet is stuck to my head, flinched. Weird.

Was that some sort of overstimulation of my ear nerves? or is my ear asking for bilateral stimulation? I'm pondering...

I am not sure what that was, but it felt weird. I'm wondering if anyone else had such an experience. If yes please share it with me. 

Thanks for reading!

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Wet hair & my device

Wet hair day, yes! :) That is how I look like after a shower when I want to listen to music. I have to wear it though the quality isn't always best, as I have to press the magnet close to my head so that there is a connection between this part and the other one behind my skin.


However... it works and I do that sometimes. =) I'm not sure if it is suggested it's helpful when you don't want to dry your hair immediately.

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I just came back from a funeral in my family. I never like to go to funerals it always makes me sad ... :( It was really hard to say goodbye.


I remember this poem. I came across it a while. I even made a video myself where I recite this poem but I wanted to share this one below here. The one above I put the poem on one of my pictures.


Everyone deals different with grief and sorrow. When I first heard of his death I totally heard it wrong. I thought someone else died and not the one that really did.... My ears.... :( (-.-) I was in a hurry and there was a lot of background noise and I gave up on asking again.... (just to make sure I heard it right)..


I heard it later, when I came home who it was. :(





So now I'm back in Salzburg just feel tired from driving there and back within 48 hours. However I had some energy left to go for a short walk this morning! Though now I regret it... because I feel tired :)

So that's how poetrygirl looks downtown :P If you should recognize me, well then say "hi" :) I'm still pondering what I could write next... which poem... it's time for some writing but I feel stuck. Sad poems would be right for the moment .. but I'm not sure.
I'll make up my mind later!

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Background noise - POEM

Welcome! I'm back again! I am sure you rather hear new updates from me than from stuff from my youtube account but I'd like to share this poem with you in case you didn't check it out.


It's one of my poems I wrote a while ago. I enjoy my CI and the advantage to simply turn off sound if I want some silence :)

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

My poetry book is published & I got my copy

Link to my Facebook page

I'm so glad it arrived a few weeks ago! That was definitely a long process until I held the book finally in my hands :)) What a great feeling! It still feels so unreal :) I am still me, ok I have my own book published but I don't feel any different than before, ok maybe I am filled with a lot more happy feelings than before :)

Three years ago I joined ccor because I wanted to write a book, (this was my goal). I had no idea it will be a POETRY book :) but it all turned out the way it was supposed to be! I don't know if my muse was there all the time or if this creativity was born, if I the poet was born or if it was all inside me but through English and through poetry I discovered I can share my thoughts in a rhythmical and rhyming way :)

Take a look inside the table of contests:
Click here

Awww what a manifestation after more than three years since I've joined this community here :))

Here's the link where my book can be obtained:
At the Lulu store

But also at The English Center Salzburg
Here's the link


Thanks for reading!



Sandra

I can HEAR the rain

Hi there,


Today I had those AHA-moments. I heard something outside and thought "OMG do I hear rain??" and then I looked outside the window (it was open) and yes.. it was the rain. WOW, something that I once took for granted, I appreciate right now in this moment.


Can such a little micro-chip do such wonders? I feel amazed because it is still overwhelming to just think about it, how such a little electrode can make me hear again :)


Thanks for reading!

Sandra