Listening to music is uncomfortable

It's been quite a while! I haven't had the time to dedicate to keep this blog active and fresh.. huh :(. Well life's moving pretty fast and it's been and up and down. I'm trying to catch up slowly and keep a routine, like blogging at least once a week, or every two for the beginning. 

So much has happened since last year but not much related to my hearing. In short, I'm doing well with my ear. No major problems with my device. Here and there I had problems with the coil that from time to time, my device stopped working for a second. I had this fixed and got a new coil. My life has improved a lot, regarding to my hearing. Yes, I am still misunderstanding words, but I got used to live with it. It's not so bad. It often feels like, that the most important things I miss to hear, and the things that are not of a matter, I hear. Crazy eh? :) 

My audio cable is not working anymore, and you know how much a new peace costs.. over 100,- EUR a new one!!! Huh, a lot of money. This is unfortunately not covered by the insurance and so I have to pay it myself.. I haven't decided to get a new one. Still looking for other options, e.g. ear plugs. I tried out these and I have to say, I miss the comfort of not having anything like this big on my ears. It's quite painful after some time, when you're in bed, listening to music. So, there is no listening to music and falling asleep in bed, unless I listen to it through the speakers and wake up everyone else. :P

It was so much easier when I plugged this audio cable just behind my speech processor and I could hear music directly in my head (ear). There was also this privacy that I have appreciated. No one could hear what I'm listening to, no matter the volume. 

I will see, but at the moment I cannot decide. It does cost a lot of money.


Bellman Alarm clock Last year I bought a new alarm clock from Bellman & Symfon. Here is a video, how this clock works. It's very useful to me, as a clock with light function only, cannot wake me up! I need something that shakes me out of my bed :)





It's very helpful and a good device to rely on it, but there are also cheaper clocks on Amazon to buy. 

This was a short update on the thing going on at the moment. I'll try to write in regular intervals, to get back on track.

Thanks for reading and please, 
stop by again =)


Sandra

A Different World - POEM

© 2011 Sandra Stolnik ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Good evening!!

Here's a new poem. It's published in my book, though I put it on my photo from hospital to give you a visual input as well :) 

2010 I got my cochlear implant and the first few days with this new technology inside my ear was wicked :D, confusing and really tough to adjust but I made it and I made a speedy recovery although everything sounded so strange in the first few months. However, day by day my hearing got better and then all of a sudden it got normal, back to what it was before, ... before I had my hearing loss, when I knew what's like to hear "normal" with a hearing aid.

I cannot describe it but, so much has changed since then and yes music is heavenly!!! I can hear it and it does sound so natural and I hear all the various tones which I haven't heard before. I can live a normal life again and even the big battery adjustment I accepted. I have to change batteries every 3 days and take two of those little "button batteries", you know those little ones.

Before that .. a hearing aid could work for a whole week and you only needed one tiny battery... At present I don't mind it. I always have a reservoir of batteries at home and in almost every back and jacket too, just to make sure ;)

I am SO HAPPY I took notes & wrote poems. Time's passing by so fast and without all the notes I wouldn't remember everything, every detail like this poem describes my first experience with my new hearing. (The car sound) :)

Enjoy it! I'm sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading this far, it means you care to read. :)

Stone Deaf Ear - POEM

I never knew how to locate sound,

Or to tell from where it came.

It always gave me shivers

I never liked this children’s game.

To turn left or to turn right?

I never knew which way to go.

Always heard some stupid laughter.

Making fun of me? I didn’t know.

Since the day I was born,

Silence was my company.

It was like a second layer

That did not want to leave me.

Can you revive my stone deaf ear,

Can you give it the sound back?

Can you unite my two ears,

So they can walk together this track?

By Sandra Stolnik

August 2, 2011 

Here's one of my poems about my ear. You can find more of my poems on youtube. Just search for "mytruestory85". I wrote this poem last summer, when I just began to hear with my new cochlear implant. Everything was new to me at that time but soon I began to notice positive changes, though still... I still had something I was longing for... to be bilateral, to hear on both ears. My RIGHT ear is still deaf & even to this present moment now, I still do not hear on that other ear.. but only on my left one.

Some people say "it's enough, you already have one hearing ear." Yes I do but why can I not be bilateral? I enjoy being deaf too. It has a lot of advantages that you begin to appreciate now. I am both hearing and deaf!! This reminds me of another poem I'll post soon.

In secret I hope for an internal failure with my device so that perhaps when that moment comes I can be implanted on both ears at the same time, risking only once another anesthesia. :P

We'll see what will happen in the future, but I better not wish such scenarios to happen because for half a year or so, I have noticed minimal first signs of a possible failure. It doesn't have to mean that something is wrong but sometimes I notice for a fraction of a second that my device stops working and then it's "on" again as if nothing happened before. The same feeling as if you take away that magnet from your head and stick it back, as soon as the magnet touches the other magnet which is under your skin you hear again, when they are not close together you don't.

This is weird but I'll pay attention to it further and see if there will be bigger changes that will affect my hearing.

I hope you enjoyed reading my poem!

Your Poetry Girl :)

How do people with no sound wake up?

Uhhh waking up for someone who doesn't hear is always a challenge :P but it's not impossible... Before I lost my hearing, when everything seemed to be quite "normal" I've been wondering how people who do not hear wake up. At that time I didn't know that there are special alarm clocks with either flashlight or with vibration.


Mine is with a flashlight as you can see it here. It has a very high pitch sound too but I turned it off as I've lost my remaining hearing and so I do not need to hear that sound, I cannot even hear it. So when I do get up early I do not want to wake up everyone else with that sound. I only use the light. Thank God it does have a snooze function so I get a few more minutes of sleep :P

I feel blessed not to hear the ticking of the clock. Believe me, it would make me crazy!! I cannot hear that sound anymore. My sleep is a lot better with no distraction at all. :)


I will get back to you soon!

Thanks for reading!
Will write soon!



Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Writing software during NANOWRIMO

Hello there!


Nanowrimo starts in less then two weeks ... I am in preparation but end up procrastinating ... :) Here is a software I came across, called WriteRoom for Mac! 




I like this software and will try to use it during Nanowrimo.


If you want go get it yourself too, here is the link:
http://www.hogbaysoftware.com/products/writeroom


Try it and let me know if you like it! I have the sound installed like a typewriter. If you have a Mac you can fix that immediately. I will show you in the next steps how to do that. It's very easy. First I had no idea and seached the net, then I messed something up with my computer and then after half an hour of headache etc. I fixed it again. Be careful how you set your *keyboard sensitivity* as you don't want a delay while typing... and to have to wait 5 seconds till your word appears on the screen after typing that letter.... or worse that you have to press long enough till it shows... well all this I fixed. If you want to try it, read on :)

Ok I must admit I feel really silly... and I cannot find it where to do those settings and my computer is in German... so um... crap LOL but if you can find that window then you are on the right way :) You can to click that very last square on the top right "TON AUS" then you will hear a sound while typing.

Then with the keyboard, you have to turn the little arrow at the top bottom to the far right "Ansprechverzögerung" or it will take you ages till your keyboard reacts to your typing.


I hope this somehow makes sense.. if not let me know and I'll try to explain it to you again.


So yeah, with this I am going to write and I can already tell you the sound gets on my goat :P but the good thing is that I can always turn the volume of my speaker down. I do not have to listen to it if I don't want. OR I can simply take off my speech processor as I have a Cochlear Implant and without I cannot hear. So have an advantage :)


I will get back to you all soon,
Thank you for reading,

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Mother Nature's Beauty - POEM

Hi there!


It's time for some poetry!!! :))) I'd like to share with you one of my latest poems, not the latest as of today but it's one that I wrote a few days ago.


Mother Nature's Beauty


The sun was shining
And warmed up my skin
Sadly you've missed it.
Where have you been?


The stones so mighty,
Have always been there
For a few decades
Their beauty to spare.


Though people get busy
To notice what's around,
To see Mother Nature,
They can't hear her sound.




Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Switch your program back and forth

Hi there!!


Yesterday I called my relatives outside and I couldn't really understand them at first... later on during the conversation I tried to press one of these two buttons that I have behind my processor and see there.... all of a sudden I could understand my granny's voice clear! :O no background noise but the voice itself was just perfect :)


I should try more often to change back and forth. I have three programs with different settings ... it's just that I do not always want to change and switch programs during a phone call as I won't hear in those few seconds when I do that. I fear that I'll miss what's important. Though today I was like "wow it works" :) I should experiment more often because it is quite helpful when you can adjust your hearing to different situations.


I don't like to experiment with my *hearing* but I will try it more often next time.

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

A day without SOUND

Hi!!


Hope you all are doing great! How's the weather over there, at your place? We in Salzburg had really hot - HOT summer weather today!! I got a mild (that's an understatement) sunburnt. :)


I have a little experiment for you! or you can call it a challenge but that sounds like you have to do it. So let's say it's a little experiment! That sounds much nicer. :) Could you imagine to live a day without sound? Would you be ready to try it for one day? For just 24 hours or less as you probably won't count the time when you sleep? 

Would you like to try it out, just for one day? Why do I ask this? Well, I was inspired by a friend of mine on Facebook. I would like you to try it out. No one who has not experience deafness longer than a few mins can say "Oh I know what's like not to hear". You cannot say that unless you experience silence in real life, in your daily schedule, while doing errands, doing your job etc. You will know the answer if you do it at least for a day. Just to put your fingers into your ear say oh yeah that's it, just won't do it ;)


If you are courageous enough to do it, here's one thing you'll need to get, some ohropax. You can find it at almost every shop that sells make-up or at the chemistry as well. Get those and then you can start. Squeeze it until it's little and then put into into your ears. Inside they will fill up the space and fit into you ear.


If you decide to do that for a day, please make a video blog about or share it in a blog about your experience. How did this new "change" make you feel? How did you cope with the missing sound? and so on ;)


It's an experiment to understand the silent world. It's a world that I also share, regardless of my CI or not. I am deaf and hearing too and yet I like it both. I can adjust my ear and simply switch it off if I need silence ;)) And being deaf doesn't mean I'm stupid. That phrase reminds me of a poem I wrote. I will share it some other time!



Will write soon!

Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

I can HEAR the rain

Hi there,


Today I had those AHA-moments. I heard something outside and thought "OMG do I hear rain??" and then I looked outside the window (it was open) and yes.. it was the rain. WOW, something that I once took for granted, I appreciate right now in this moment.


Can such a little micro-chip do such wonders? I feel amazed because it is still overwhelming to just think about it, how such a little electrode can make me hear again :)


Thanks for reading!

Sandra

My video about my cochlear implant surgery is back

I was watching some videos about other people and their ear surgeries, baha, cochlear, etc and it made me want to put some of my videos about my surgery back as public. After some time I felt I shared too much, or too many things about per private life that I put them back as private. I felt I shared too much and felt vulnerable, even more when I shared my yt account with friends in my place. All of a sudden I felt so exposed. They asked me questions like, "why do you share so much about yourself?" and I was like why not? I have this youtube account for almost 2.5 years and I love to share. This way I found about about ccor because I shared my dream to write a book and Laura and Sandy sent me messages and let me know about ccor and the 100 day challenge. If you don't share you cannot expect to get advice and help.


I'm not sure if I put all videos of my surgery back but some of them I will and I'm sure it will help others. I didn't share so much of my ear in the videos but I therefore have more pictures to show if people want to know. In case you are new and stopped by at this blog. I had two cochear implant surgery within a week on my left ear, but now I recovered and my hearing is doing well.


I have some posts here, they were short but they provide pictures..
Holy cow where do I begin? (posted July 18, 2010)
Update on my surgery (posted July 20, 2010)
Had my second surgery (posted July 24, 2010)
Stitches are out (posted July 28, 2010)


I will write more soon. Btw, the book "Poetry Pieces of Europe" is already out wohooo. I'll make soon a video as soon as I get my copy per post :)) I'm so excited. I should get it before Christmas!