Stone Deaf Ear - POEM

I never knew how to locate sound,

Or to tell from where it came.

It always gave me shivers

I never liked this children’s game.

To turn left or to turn right?

I never knew which way to go.

Always heard some stupid laughter.

Making fun of me? I didn’t know.

Since the day I was born,

Silence was my company.

It was like a second layer

That did not want to leave me.

Can you revive my stone deaf ear,

Can you give it the sound back?

Can you unite my two ears,

So they can walk together this track?

By Sandra Stolnik

August 2, 2011 

Here's one of my poems about my ear. You can find more of my poems on youtube. Just search for "mytruestory85". I wrote this poem last summer, when I just began to hear with my new cochlear implant. Everything was new to me at that time but soon I began to notice positive changes, though still... I still had something I was longing for... to be bilateral, to hear on both ears. My RIGHT ear is still deaf & even to this present moment now, I still do not hear on that other ear.. but only on my left one.

Some people say "it's enough, you already have one hearing ear." Yes I do but why can I not be bilateral? I enjoy being deaf too. It has a lot of advantages that you begin to appreciate now. I am both hearing and deaf!! This reminds me of another poem I'll post soon.

In secret I hope for an internal failure with my device so that perhaps when that moment comes I can be implanted on both ears at the same time, risking only once another anesthesia. :P

We'll see what will happen in the future, but I better not wish such scenarios to happen because for half a year or so, I have noticed minimal first signs of a possible failure. It doesn't have to mean that something is wrong but sometimes I notice for a fraction of a second that my device stops working and then it's "on" again as if nothing happened before. The same feeling as if you take away that magnet from your head and stick it back, as soon as the magnet touches the other magnet which is under your skin you hear again, when they are not close together you don't.

This is weird but I'll pay attention to it further and see if there will be bigger changes that will affect my hearing.

I hope you enjoyed reading my poem!

Your Poetry Girl :)

How do people with no sound wake up?

Uhhh waking up for someone who doesn't hear is always a challenge :P but it's not impossible... Before I lost my hearing, when everything seemed to be quite "normal" I've been wondering how people who do not hear wake up. At that time I didn't know that there are special alarm clocks with either flashlight or with vibration.


Mine is with a flashlight as you can see it here. It has a very high pitch sound too but I turned it off as I've lost my remaining hearing and so I do not need to hear that sound, I cannot even hear it. So when I do get up early I do not want to wake up everyone else with that sound. I only use the light. Thank God it does have a snooze function so I get a few more minutes of sleep :P

I feel blessed not to hear the ticking of the clock. Believe me, it would make me crazy!! I cannot hear that sound anymore. My sleep is a lot better with no distraction at all. :)


I will get back to you soon!

Thanks for reading!
Will write soon!



Your bionic PoetryGirl

Sandra

Introduction (part 1)

A little introduction to this new blog. If you have found this blog by coincident or if I have told you, either way, I'd like to thank you for coming to this site. Spare me a few minutes so I can briefly tell you what this is all about.


This is my Sandra (or PoetryGirl) from Facebook/CCOR or mytruestory85 from YouTube.


I've decided to create a new blog. You can still find my old blogging account under "inspirational-guide" but I wanted to create a new one where I'll share things about my ear, my journey towards hearing and the poetry that I'm writing.


I came a long way from where I am now, so I don't really know exactly where to begin but I'll give you a brief summary.


I've been born with two "hearing" ears but due to an infection as a baby, (to which one I don't know exactly, either due to meningitis or middle ear inflammation) it left my both ears ossified. My right one is a lot more than my left one. That is also why I don't hear anything at all on my right ear. On my left ear, I do hear or have heard pretty well, all until 2008. (I'll come to it in a few mins).


In the past I had a couple of hearing fluctuations and I got my very first hearing aid when I was about 16 or 17 years old. I got it on my left ear.

It helped me a bit with listening exercises but there were still times when it was difficult for me to understand, either because I was thinking too much about the word that I have heard (was it "car" or "far")  or I didn't understand it at all. To make it short, it was tough here and there but I managed to get along pretty well with my hearing aid.

In February 2008, I had my first significant acute hearing loss. My hearing cure dropped to 100 db. I still still about my left ear as on my right I've never heard.

So I hope you can follow. Anyway, to come back... I have stayed at hospital for a week. It didn't really help me. They gave me infusion to make my hearing recover but nothing changed. I couldn't hear and I didn't even know that I could still use my hearing aid, the one I had at that time.


I figured it out later, when I went to my acoustician and he increased the volume of my hearing aid. When the volume was increased I could hear again - all of a sudden. So from this point on it was clear to me that I don't want to consider a cochlear implant surgery because I could hear again so I have closed that chapter. It's not the right time.


To be continued... (I'll write more later) let this be the intro (1part) and I'll go back later. :)


Thanks for reading (stay in touch) there's more ;)

Sandra