österreichischer und kroatischer blog

kommt sehr bald :))


stay in touch! An Austrian and Croatian blog will come very soon!


Uskoro slijedi jedan novi hrvatski blog :)

Copyright 

All graphics, illustrations or photographs reproduced on the www.crossed-flag-pins.com domain are copyrighted. 

My Heart's Craving For Something New - POEM

www.facebook.com/stolnikspoetry

Hello friends and fans!

I have a long weekend with All hallows I don't work all until Sunday.

Here is the direct link to my photo-poems on my Facebook page. Just click HERE and it will open a new window and direct you to my page. I don't know if you all like poetry but have a look at my page. There are poems about different aspects of life, some deal about my hearing, others about the challenges in life. Feel free to browse through my photos and see if there's something that you enjoy.

I have another blog that is dedicated to my writing only, it's called "www.bionicpoetrygirl.blogspot.com". I even created a tab for that page here but it seems like that the link doesn't work .... I have to figure out how to fix this... until then I'll put the link here in this post.

Here's one of my "latest" poems, not that up-to-date but I still wanted to share with you. This is how I felt and still feel about my writing. It's very sad.. but when you are so full of passion and still see it's hard to somehow reach out to people then it makes you wonder ... like in this poem... I don't think that I need to explain it. Read yourself and create yourself a picture about it.

If you have some encouraging words for me then please share it with me. I need to be encouraged more than ever why I am writing and why I should continue .....

Your poetry girl,

My CI story published at "Hearing Health Foundation"

Hello there!!!

It was been literally a while! We had first snow here in Salzburg a few days ago :O 

A few weeks ago, I have posted some of my poems about my ear on some Facebook pages that deal with hearing and cochlear implants and I came across this one called "Hearing Health Foundation". 
Their aim is to prevent and cure hearing loss through groundbreaking research. 

I have posted some poems on their Facebook page.

 One of the poems that I have posted was this one, called "A Different World". You can find this poem in a better resolution to read on my page HERE as well as the poem in the photo description to read. Please take a look to read it. It contains some background information about how I got my hearing loss and a brief story how I lost my hearing.

It is about my first experience with my new cochlear implant. The first few days were really hard to adjust but I was open about this new "thing" so everything else was just falling into place. So after I posted this poem, I got a message from Tara from the Hearing Health Foundation and she asked me if I would like to include my story on their website and so I did. :)))

Hi Sandra,
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and these two beautiful poems! They are a great addition to our collection of stories!

Here is an excerpt of her email. I was really excited and thankful for such an opportunity that I have immediately put together my story and prepared some poems to accompany my text.

HERE is my story :))) It is on their cover page of their website! Here's how it looks like. Please go and visit their website and read my story.

http://hearinghealthfoundation.org

I'm very thankful for that as it enables me to share my cochlear implant journey with thousand other people all over the word! We have so many things in common and it's so nice to exchange thoughts on the same "thing" :)

Thanks for reading!

Cochlear contact request

I have to say "Cochlear" is very thoughtful not to request to fill out the "phone number" i.e. Telefon. 

I don't know their reasons why they left this out, why it's not mandatory... but to me it seems like they know that CI users have sometimes trouble to do phone calls. It's true! It can be intimidating to have to call someone especially when you don't know whether you'll hear the caller or not. Or the other way round, if you have a call and you don't know who's calling.

Though it gets better with time but still for some it can remain a challenging task.

Imagine what a torture it can be if you are working somewhere where you have to sell products to customers... every day phone calls to master. Every day this frustration because you have missed a word, issued a wrong invoice or people turn out to be unfriendly and don't want to repeat every sentence twice!

I'm glad this is not something I have to deal with anymore. I can do phone calls and I do them every now and then. I had one today with someone (I'll tell you in my next few posts) more later.

It depends a lot on the situation where, when & who's calling.

This post definitely doesn't have to do with this here but the contact form request just reminded me of that.

So today I have tried to reach out to Cochlear Ltd in Germany. I would love to somehow spread awareness with my poems on their website. I'd be glad for any help or advice that I could get. In fact they got back to me the same day and will forward my email to another woman who will get in touch with me very soon! This sounds exciting!

I'll let you know what will come out of it. In any case it's already great that I have reached out and made contact with them. :)

Hearing disturbed phone calls

Hmm not sure how to begin but there is surely something I have to write about. 

When I am outside, I like to do phone calls outside at this phone booth. Before you ask why I do it in that booth rather than inside or from my phone. I just like it this way and it's convenient when I am around this place.

So,... whenever I am outside and on the phone with someone, there comes a pedestrian to throw away empty glass bottles. It's really ironic because I do not hear well and whenever I am calling someone, there comes someone to make noise.

I am really wondering who got the idea to put those bottle banks right next to a phone booth. It couldn't be a better places especially if you are hearing impaired. For someone who hears well this might not be a big deal but for someone who has either a hearing aid or a cochlear implant it can be really frustrating, or am I the only one who feels this way??? I'm curious (-.-)

Sometimes I feel like close to say something but when I see elderly people then I dismiss the thought. They cannot anything for it and I wouldn't want them to feel bad but when there are younger ones then I sometimes give them this look like "Can't you do this later? Don't you see I'm calling someone??" I must have this attraction because as ironic as it is, it is always me who attracts people when I speak with someone.

For whoever chose to put the glass tanks here I'd really appreciate if you could relocate them somewhere else because this place is really by far not appropriate!

A Different World - POEM

© 2011 Sandra Stolnik ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Good evening!!

Here's a new poem. It's published in my book, though I put it on my photo from hospital to give you a visual input as well :) 

2010 I got my cochlear implant and the first few days with this new technology inside my ear was wicked :D, confusing and really tough to adjust but I made it and I made a speedy recovery although everything sounded so strange in the first few months. However, day by day my hearing got better and then all of a sudden it got normal, back to what it was before, ... before I had my hearing loss, when I knew what's like to hear "normal" with a hearing aid.

I cannot describe it but, so much has changed since then and yes music is heavenly!!! I can hear it and it does sound so natural and I hear all the various tones which I haven't heard before. I can live a normal life again and even the big battery adjustment I accepted. I have to change batteries every 3 days and take two of those little "button batteries", you know those little ones.

Before that .. a hearing aid could work for a whole week and you only needed one tiny battery... At present I don't mind it. I always have a reservoir of batteries at home and in almost every back and jacket too, just to make sure ;)

I am SO HAPPY I took notes & wrote poems. Time's passing by so fast and without all the notes I wouldn't remember everything, every detail like this poem describes my first experience with my new hearing. (The car sound) :)

Enjoy it! I'm sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading this far, it means you care to read. :)

Hansaton ↪ fixed my speech processor "cable"

I went to Hansaton and they replaced this cable with a new one. 

After almost 3 weeks I finally had this fixed... I should have gone earlier to get this done. Right after work, I stopped by to see if they could help me. The staff at Hansaton was very friendly and they immediately offered me to take a seat while they will fix it.

I waited a bit and then the woman came back with my speech processor and had the old with her. She exchanged it. I only had to sign something to submit it to the social insurance. They will hopefully cover the costs. I am glad to be living here in Austria with a good social system when such costs are covered by the insurance.

Afterwards I talked to the woman and we spoke about ear. I'm surprised they they all know who I am and my story with my cochlear implant. I didn't come often after my surgery. It has been really a while but they still do remember me. It's nice to see that. I told her that one day I will definitely want to risk another surgery just to see, to have clarity, whether I can hear or not ...

My concern is more, whether the future surgery will bring a little success and make my right deaf ear come to life or not! 

I still it will work out. I cannot predict it and most people told me otherwise. I already have one hearing ear so why risking another surgery. I try to understand their point of view but if I never give it a try, I will have find my peace. Today I read some of my papers from hospital and all the detailed explanation about my ear, the x-ray results etc. and I read how there are certain parts missing in my ear or not fully. It's too complicated to explain why they are missing but it's enough for me to know this. It means some parts of my cochlear are not there. Sometimes I wish they made some kind of 3-D photo to show it to me, as I'd like to see it myself, how my ear looks like inside.

click to enlarge

I have well adjusted to this new change with my cochlear implant. I hear well enough. Misunderstandings are still there and happen but it happens more often when I don't look at the person who talks to me, when I don't know the person is talking to me. I need to see their faces to hear. It's like this quote

"'Take off your sunglasses,' I tell my surprised companion. 'I can't hear you.' By BEVERLY BIDERMAN.

The same is with me. I cannot hear when I don't see a face, even though with the CI I hear really well, I cannot complain BUT I still misunderstand. This still happens. I have only one ear where I hear. I do not hear anything on my right ear so it's a bit challenging with the directional hearing...

So with this brief excerpt of my report.. hmm I don't know what to think about... but I want to believe in a miracle and I DO believe. I don't need 1,000 people to believe but if I alone believe, then I already make a difference.

Miracles do happen!

Does my Cochlear Implant work well?

Hmmmm!!!

A week or perhaps two my speech processor used to work well without anything negative to report.. I had the coil changed and it worked great. However a few days ago, it started again to have little failure problems...

I took a closer look and saw that this little outside part is a bit "broken", how do you say? Have a look at the photo! This is what I mean? Can you see!

I guess this is the reason what makes the strange "blackouts" happen again. It's a bit odd but at least I know what's the matter. I'll have to wait until my audiologist comes back from vacation then I'll stop by to tell him about.

This is however not such a big deal, I could live day by day even with this little minor issue, as long as my cochlear implant still works. I got used to hear again so not to hear but be a bit adjustment to me.
I respect everyone's choice. I have made one for myself. I want to hear but also enjoy silence many times.

Someone who doesn't hear is not much different than someone with hearing!

Go to my Facebook page to read my latest poems

https://www.facebook.com/stolnikspoetry

Cochlear Implant restrictions

click to enlarge

Bummer ... :(

Ah, too bad those contests are always for the US and Canada only. There was another contest a while ago from Cochlear Americas and I was so eager to make a video, talked about my cochlear only later to hear I cannot participate :/

Never mind, I still enjoy their updates about the latest things going on with CIs :)

I hope tough one day they open up their "borders" a bit so people from outside the US can contribute.

Strange minor error issues with my cochlear implant

Hello my lovely readers!!

It has been a while... again!! I know I have said this many times. My life has been pretty wild, packing and traveling abroad. I went to China exactly a month ago. I thought this year my vacation has to be something special and it was. God I was on the other side of the world :O Pretty cool. A different culture for sure with many things to see, different food and all.

Oh that was definitely an unforgettable trip. I met many people and made friends with some Chinese locals who work and live there and some who work here but come from abroad. Here's a photo of me with a Chinese friend. We went out for dinner and were a big group, had lots of fun that day.

So to come back.. I had issues with my cochlear implant... for months I have reported some kind of malfunction and I didn't know why, or what it has caused... until just recently when I went to hospital and figured out what was wrong. I made an appointment with my audiologist and he checked my device but couldn't figure out anything wrong with it. He said we'll have to start exchanging parts.. and see if it will stop and work properly or not. If not, then after all the outside parts have been exchanged, he'll have to call another specialist...

So then he sent me first to my accoustician to change this round part which is called "coil" as he didn't have that B-coil in color brown. On this photo it's this thing where this number 3 is shown.

Thank God for this wonderful system what we have here in Austria because the social insurance is going to pay for that new part which I got. They exchanged it and I signed papers and I got a new one.

After that, I haven't noticed any more malfunction. It seems as if this has been the issue. I'm glad it had nothing to do with the internal part but this one, which can be exchanged. That would have been really bad.

So phew, I'm relieved it's working properly!!

I wanted to share this with you because I wrote a few times about this malfunction and now I know the reason. So if you too, have similar issues go and get in touch with your audiologist to see what's wrong.

Powerone Implant Plus p675

Hi there!!

I only had this one little box left and had to order new ... So I got my big package of CI batteries within a week. It's still unwrapped but at least I have them now. I'm much calmer that I know I have a reservoir. I don't like to run out of them...

I soon plan to go on vacation overseas and I'll need to make sure to take at least one such box this this one opened with me. I can't wait. More soon!! It's going to be an exciting wild trip far far away :D

Here are more of my poetry videos

here's a screenshot of some poems that I uploaded

Hello my friends,

I think you already have seen some of these videos but there are more if you scroll down. I have put up different playlists and organized my videos a little bit.

You can find a playlist about

• My poetry
• My Cochlear Implant Surgery

My 100 Day Challenge & any many more.

I have video material for other videos but it takes time to edit, and put the clips together. When I get it done I will let you know. Until then enjoy these videos here.

Thanks for reading!

To Graeme Clark - POEM

Hello my lovely readers!!

I'd like to share with you my poem that I wrote for Mr. Graeme Clark. He is the inventor of the cochlear implant.

This was my tribute to his achievements, to say THANK YOU

I don't know if I have told you but I sent a letter to Mr. Clark, to tell him about my book and to share my poems with him. He got back to me and was very touched and pleased by the poems and the fact that one poem was for him. It is nice that I was able to reach him and to show him my poems. I hope he's going to see that video too, so he can see myself as if I were talking to him face-to-face but here virtually... through that video!

I hope he'll enjoy it and you all as well!

Leave me some comments on my youtube video! I'd lot to hear from you all!

Thanks for reading!

Stone Deaf Ear - POEM

I never knew how to locate sound,

Or to tell from where it came.

It always gave me shivers

I never liked this children’s game.

To turn left or to turn right?

I never knew which way to go.

Always heard some stupid laughter.

Making fun of me? I didn’t know.

Since the day I was born,

Silence was my company.

It was like a second layer

That did not want to leave me.

Can you revive my stone deaf ear,

Can you give it the sound back?

Can you unite my two ears,

So they can walk together this track?

By Sandra Stolnik

August 2, 2011 

Here's one of my poems about my ear. You can find more of my poems on youtube. Just search for "mytruestory85". I wrote this poem last summer, when I just began to hear with my new cochlear implant. Everything was new to me at that time but soon I began to notice positive changes, though still... I still had something I was longing for... to be bilateral, to hear on both ears. My RIGHT ear is still deaf & even to this present moment now, I still do not hear on that other ear.. but only on my left one.

Some people say "it's enough, you already have one hearing ear." Yes I do but why can I not be bilateral? I enjoy being deaf too. It has a lot of advantages that you begin to appreciate now. I am both hearing and deaf!! This reminds me of another poem I'll post soon.

In secret I hope for an internal failure with my device so that perhaps when that moment comes I can be implanted on both ears at the same time, risking only once another anesthesia. :P

We'll see what will happen in the future, but I better not wish such scenarios to happen because for half a year or so, I have noticed minimal first signs of a possible failure. It doesn't have to mean that something is wrong but sometimes I notice for a fraction of a second that my device stops working and then it's "on" again as if nothing happened before. The same feeling as if you take away that magnet from your head and stick it back, as soon as the magnet touches the other magnet which is under your skin you hear again, when they are not close together you don't.

This is weird but I'll pay attention to it further and see if there will be bigger changes that will affect my hearing.

I hope you enjoyed reading my poem!

Your Poetry Girl :)

We are back

Wow!! My last post was in January and now we have almost end of February... phew... Although the month January was not really a special one some things did happen and it was in a way a busy and emotional month for me, with ups and downs.


I went to Croatia for a week and just returned. There was a lot of snow and now it's melting. Here's a photo of me and my brother.

Thank you for reading,