Sunday, December 12, 2010

My video about my cochlear implant surgery is back

I was watching some videos about other people and their ear surgeries, baha, cochlear, etc and it made me want to put some of my videos about my surgery back as public. After some time I felt I shared too much, or too many things about per private life that I put them back as private. I felt I shared too much and felt vulnerable, even more when I shared my yt account with friends in my place. All of a sudden I felt so exposed. They asked me questions like, "why do you share so much about yourself?" and I was like why not? I have this youtube account for almost 2.5 years and I love to share. This way I found about about ccor because I shared my dream to write a book and Laura and Sandy sent me messages and let me know about ccor and the 100 day challenge. If you don't share you cannot expect to get advice and help.

I'm not sure if I put all videos of my surgery back but some of them I will and I'm sure it will help others. I didn't share so much of my ear in the videos but I therefore have more pictures to show if people want to know. In case you are new and stopped by at this blog. I had two cochear implant surgery within a week on my left ear, but now I recovered and my hearing is doing well.

I have some posts here, they were short but they provide pictures..
Holy cow where do I begin? (posted July 18, 2010)
Update on my surgery (posted July 20, 2010)
Had my second surgery (posted July 24, 2010)
Stitches are out (posted July 28, 2010)

I will write more soon. Btw, the book "Poetry Pieces of Europe" is already out wohooo. I'll make soon a video as soon as I get my copy per post :)) I'm so excited. I should get it before Christmas!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

It's a miracle that I can hear


It's time to give you an update. A few days ago I tried to listen to music using this cable that I had in my big white CI suitcase. I didn't have the time to try it out earlier or maybe I just wasn't ready to try it out so today, it's already THREE months since I've had my surgery... (not one month, I didn't notice the typo before).. So today I wanted to give it a try. :)

I’m simply amazed how well I hear and understand. I’m listening to some of Anastacia’s songs and her voice sounds the same as last year when I could hear her with my hearing aid. This is a miracle. This electrode inside my ear gives my hearing nerves the stimulation and somehow my brain can use this electrical stimulation to make my brain understand what I hear. Wow this is beyond my understanding. Wow I was so suspicious and full of doubt that I could never hear music again. I was prepared to fully detest it but now, see where I am now. I can hear and enjoy it. :) I hope I can inspire many more people to go for the surgery. Of course it has to be their decision but things do get better. You have to take it as an opportunity, be open and just have fun with all the new sounds. I was listening a lot to music even before my hearing loss, and maybe this helped me I don’t know. I have no idea what influenced my brain to use all this information and make me understand what I hear. The CI gives me back my life quality. It was definitely the right decision. I don’t regret it and I don’t regret that I didn’t go for it earlier. It was just meant to happen this year.

This year I was the year for me. 2010 was MY YEAR :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Talk at university | Poetry reading

Finally, finally this post.... I've been procraastinating with writing this .... not because I didn't want to.. I did other things instead.. so here's the post!!

I have good things to share! Last Friday my speech therapist at hospital sent me an email asking how I'm doing and he knows that I'm writing poetry. He asked me if I want to give a talk in front of his students and talk about what it's like to have a CI, the challenges and how it affected my life. He said I can also read a few poems if I want :))) Wow!! Awesome!! That totally made my day when I read his email. His lessons start Monday (tomorrow) and the next one, next month and so on. I want to come tomorrow but it's bad timing as I'm working and I don't want to have to excuse myself so I'll wait until November. Besides I'm not even prepared :P Omg, what am I going to say aaaaa, :) I haven't thought that ... I'm bit scared... phew... reciting some of my poems about my ear .. in front of a group of students. :O I hope they will be nice to me haha! What I fear most is when they start asking questions and I don't hear them. Okay I do hear good but what if I can't hear them :O (-.-) lol. I know it's ridiculous as I actually do hear good. We'll see! It's exciting nonetheless!! I look forward to November.
I'm not sure if this will take place at university or at school near the hospital area. I have to ask so I know. Wow that will be the first time that I have a talk and recite a few poems. I have the feeling that this will be the beginning.. it's kind of exciting. I used to get very nervous when I had to give a speech. I remember... uh .. :) and usually got red in my face, just from being nervous, phew.. but that was a long time ago. I think I've changed and this time it won't be like this.

Who wants to come there next Month?? :P

I cannot say any bad things about the CI, okay I did have pain and it was a tough decision but definitely not a wrong one. I needed the time to make this decision and I've led this battle for so long. In the end things turned out great. Hey I can even listen to music again. It didn't take me long to hear and enjoy it again :)))

Okay, as much as I'd love to go on and write I have to stop. It's almost 11.30 PM and it's time to go to bed!! I have to get up early tomorrow and go to work.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

My processor is acting weird

Hello!!! It's time for another blog. I've been a bit lazy... and tired too but not from writing. I just feel tired in the evenings. Where do I begin????

I'll begin with this beeping that I hear... "beep, beep, beeeeeeeeep" than it stops, what the fuck???? Why do I hear that??? This doesn't sound like a tinnitus, .. or some sort of electrical tinnitus? does that even exist?? no way... seems like my processor is acting weird sometimes... hm....

It could be because I forgot to switch back my processor to the default setting, it is on "t" which is for phone calls .. I don't know how to explain it but I have a remote controller where I can switch between the two programs and I forgot to switch it back after work and I left my remote controller in the office so... hm, when I hear with this program, it seems that my processor is very sensitive to electromagnetical things, or... hm e.g. when I walk past a bank and come close to the door my hearing aid makes a strange sound => noise not sound, it makes a strange noise, I don't know or when I put my hear close to my keyboard on my computer => woah it's loud!!

And yes that side where I have the implant feels really gross, uncomfortable and sometimes itchy (O_o) (-.-) I didn't go and visit a doctor because I don't think it's necessary... it's just this feeling that I have as I have the processor on my hear, my glasses and all this is just too much for my ear. Maybe I should start and wear my contact lenses again, hm...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I'm sorry for my last post | I'm okay :)

Hi there,
I'm sorry for being a b!tch in my last post ... I'm fine really. I distracted that thought and I'm okay. It was just one of these days where I had bad sleep, tinnitus at night and all this and even before that I felt awful... but okay. The good think is I wrote poem last night at 2 AM wow =) yeah at least this helped me to fall asleep again. So once I finished it I was tired and the funny thing is, the last few sentences from my journal that I wrote, before I doze off I couldn't even decipher anymore... This morning I was like "what did I write there??" I couldn't read it anymore...

Anyway, I'm glad I do have my friends those in my town, far away and my online friends =) I love you all. I'm sorry for this negativity and for making some of you guilty. I know that I did that, I can feel and see it - I AM SORRY!!!!! Let's forget all this! Forgive and forget right? =)
So, I'll go back to my photo book. I have the idea of creating a photo book with pictures and text so I can remember my CI surgery and the things. It's not that I have to but why developing pictures when I can do that here ;) It's more fun!!! So that's what I'll be doing this week and hopefully I can finish it by Saturday so that I can place the order. This book will be for private use only, so I can read it and put it in my shelf where all the other pictures are and the photo albums :)

And I have a lot more things to do.... I need to rewrite my poems into my other collegue notepad that I have, which I started a year ago... why? Just because I want to. I want to keep the poems all in one place and have one "back-up" handwritten just in case. It's good! If all the poems get lost, God grief I'd be VERY UPSET!!!!! So let's not even think about it. I must prepare for it. So make sure you make back-up files of anything that is very important to you :) I'll have to do that too and back up my poems, journals and pictures.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I felt like writing :))

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Update on my CI surgery

I owe you an update I know. I'm sorry. I've been writing a lot at hospital. My journal is very, very interesting at the moment and very much in detail and stretches out on a couple of pages (and that on my computer) cool eh? :))

Check out my videos on YT to stay in touch on me. I haven't been able to keep a blog but I'll be back when I have regular internet access so that I can devote my time to write here. All is going well but I will need another sugery.

My implant doesn't lay properly inside my cochlear so well there were some complications. I won't go further into detail but I need another surgery to fix that. Tomorrow I'm set for the second one... I already got my processor and can hear that is so awesome but still it sounds freaky :) not what it used to... and when I blow a whistle omg... it sounds like one of those dog pipes that you use to call your dog. awful :) ...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Holy cow :) where do I begin???

I'm back home but just for a few hours. Check out my videos on youtube to hear my updates. I have more videos to come but will upload them later when I recover :))) My surgery went okay. I had it in the morning at 8 AM, I had no pain at all, wow I was suprised but in a shock that all was so quickly over I had to cry. The surgery lated for about two hours but I was sleeping for another hour before I woke up.
I'll write more about it later. I don't have much time .. damn it :) but I'll be back soon!

I'll write you soon! Check out my new videos on youtube :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

two more nights and then .... ugh

Wow!!!!!!!!! .... !!!!!!!! excitement??? yeah .... fear???? yes .... I don't know where to begin or what to write... so many things are going on in my head at this moment...
So.. I'll just copy and past what I wrote somewhere on fb...

I almost forgot that I told the staff at hospital to order it in brown color ... all this seems so unreal right now. I guess I'll believe it when I'm there =) and it doesn't really matter NOW but in 3-4 weeks after the surgery... when I'll get this thing. I'll be a cyborg in a few days *lol* I just gotta love it as I s...o love computers :P and I didn't even go to church today because we went swimming this morning, so I'm bit nervous *lol* why ah well, I feel saver when I go there and say my prayer, but tomorrow is another day where I can pray :) .... during the day I feel good but when the night comes and I'm in bed, when I close my eyes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagrr =) then I see some very intersting pictures :P that's why I don't even want to go to bed (joke) :) what if it doesn't work? I only have this one ear where I used to hear so what if??? (-.-) That's why I was procrastinating with that surgery for a long time. If I had two functional ears I would have said yes immediately. It's like someone who has only one eye needs a surgery on that eye ... hm... I know it will go well but I don't know it feels so " I can't believe it" :)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

My calender takes shape

Wow, when I look at my calendar I have strange feelings coming up.... 52 days roughly until my surgery... Can I still run away? *lol* just joking, I won't do that, nah... I cannot believe that in two weeks it's already June. Okay, slowly, slightly I am getting excited and nervous. In a way I still cannot imagine all this, how it is going to be, what feelings I will have, how I will think about this, how the recovery process will be and all this. (O_o) I'm thinking too much.

What is good about all this is that later I will hear, it will take me time but I will. I do believe. I only hope that I will not get in this dark mood if I don't immediately see the result. I must hang in there and it will get better and apart from that, the other thing that is good is that I can WRITE POETRY about my exprience of being hearing impaired / hard of hearing and soon being wired!!! :O

That's amazing. I'm proud of that. (^.^) After one year it's quite addictive (did I say it right?) and I can't seem to stop. I want to write more and more and increase that number where I am at the moment. I know this picture doesn't fit into this title but I couldn't find the one with my calendar, where half the days are almost crossed out - next time ;)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Where is the surgery date?

If I'm not mistaken I have 57 days until my surgery... wow, somehow I am coming closer and faster to that date... than I expected. I wonder am I not required to do some blood donation for myself? You know, donating my own blood that will be given to me during the surgery?? Duh.. I'm thinking too much. I know.. btw, in two days I'll have my last vaccination which is required for the surgery and then I'm done and can wait for day zero to come :o ...
Can you see this little "stripe" what is it called this little "bracelet" which I got from the hopistal? Can you see it? Yeah... I kept that, yes... it reminds me of that time so I'll leave it in this box for some time. In two weeks it's already June, wow :/ how did that happen!! Time is passing by very fast, too fast sometimes and too slowly other times. :)
I'll keep this here short as I have to go to work very soon!
Thanks for reading!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Last time listening to my ipod | before I get the implant

I was listening to my iPod. It was a strange feeling knowing that this will be the last time that I'll hear naturally with my own ear, this year... and without a hearing aid before I get the implant. I increased the volume, it was already very loud, to its very maximum so that I could hear and I did hear it a bit. What a strange feeling. I'm going to write about this as I want to remember all this. I'm not sure if I will miss it but if I don't record it I will never know. Soon I will get wired. What a strange feeling. I'm not scared but just thoughtful. The day will come soon when I'll be excited and worried *lol*

I don't have much to share right now. I feel blocked to write some poems so I'll try to find a way to overcome this writer's block ... :) I feel a bit tired and I didn't sleep well last night. I need some inspiration. I tried to write something today but it just doesn't sound good and I have stopped before I actually started, no I stopped after the second paragraph :)

I only did a back up of my files and anything on that list I haven't managed to do :) There's time, maybe next week. Weekends are just so short and I don't feel like making a video right now and I'm about to sort out my poems but I just feel so tired and I'll soon stop that. I didn't sleep well last night. I need to be a bit more in the flow when I do this but I do feel good today. :) Just a bit tired. I want to be published before I turn 30 and I am sure it will happen, I already came this far and I'll show that it IS actually POSSIBLE!! wow, what a great thought, eh? :)))) I hope I'll write some more today, I'm not sure, I feel very tired right now.

Thanks for reading! :)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Next vaccination for the cochlear implant due in 2 weeks

Bionic Poetry Girl, May 08, 2010
What a boring weekend! *lol* Okay I won't complain, it could be worse. I want some more excitement and I want to be a published author!!!!!!!!! I will become one, I WILL :) It just takes time. In the meantime I'll keep writing. I need to build up my amount in case I won't be able to write one day.. *huh* scary thought! :)

Okay, here's a short update. I had my vaccination last month against "meningitis" and in two weeks I'll need my second shot :) The vaccination procedure went very well and I didn't have any side effects from that. Okay I did. I had a bit of head ache an hour later which I think was because of the vaccination but later I felt better. I'm not someone who likes to get a vaccination. I don't like the side effects that some of the vaccines have ...

67 days until my surgery ... wow, .... am I nervous??? Huh, well right now I don't have the time to be nervous :) but I am thinking about it very often, how can I not when I have this calendar on my wall and see it every day :) I wonder how I should use this time that I have with my old hearing before I get the new one. I want to keep notes of those two months before a new journey begins, somehow I feel stuck. Anyway, I have more things to write about but let's keep each new post separate!! Will write more later!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

My to-to-list for this weekend

Hi there!! It's been a long time.. I know. I'm quite suprised that I'm still awake *lol* because I'm awake since 6 AM and feel quite tired right now. Just thought to quickly post something before I call it a day. ;) It's been a long day. I will write more over the weekend. I removed my last blog because I was not so positive and didn't want that to be there although I would have loved to hear your comments. Never mind! More intesting stuff will come soon, if I only have the time to post it lol, I feel so tired..... thanks for reading!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Coundown till the surgery | 79 days ...

SLIGHT EDIT: there are 79 days.. I made a mistake lol will update it soon...

Hi there! I'm sorry it's been a long while ... I was too busy and haven't had the chance to keep my blog up-to-date. I did a lot of writing in the past few weeks and I'm already at 30,000 word count on my story that I'm writing. I'm just writing a bit less as things have changed a bit. I'm back at work and have less time to write. I try to do both, continue to work on that story and write here and there some poems but today I feel totally blocked. My mind was somewhere else and not where it should be.

I made this calendar so I know how many days I have left till the surgery. I rather want to know how many days there are left rather than to know what day it is today. Wow as of today 80 more days .... huh, I'm bit excited but not sure I have mixed feelings. Right now I am calm but very thoughtful and very tired so I did not get much to write today. I am feeling a bit blocked. I guess I have a writer's block, sort of ... :)

I put this calendar on my wall and have it right in front of me. It feels strange to have it here on my wall. I printed it only in black and white as I ran out of "color ink" :)
I will end this blog here. I don't know what else to write ... will write more when I come closer that that day "zero" :) Thanks for reading!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day 11 | Still the same day

I felt like writing again. This is really addicting. When I was outside for a walk, I switched off my hearing aid as this beeping when I turn left or right or up it makes beep. Why? Because my hearing aid is set very loud and is very sensitive to movements or when something comes close, so I just switched it off because I didn't need it. It was a long walk and I was sure that I wouldn't bump into anyone.

So I was walking there without hearing a sound. It was strange. I looked at the traffic and the cars and felt like that I did hear something or maybe that was just this - knowing what it sounds like that you start to think that you do hear it - you get it? I still do hear but not 100% you know but when I was walking I didn't hear anything at all since without the hearing aid I hear nothing or very, very little. So I was walking there and looked my feet and felt the vibration but no sound, kinda strange if you ask me.

I still feel very frustrated that I cannot hear well but I try to do other things to distract my mind till I have the other MRI check, before I can speak with my doctor! I stopped by at the local stationery and bought some new pens. Yeah I love it, this shop is like heaven to a writer *lol*. On my way home I bumped into one of my friends from the sign language course. I am not attending the Spring course because I started to work and it just didn't work out with my time schedule. When I saw her I quickly switched on my hearing aid and it took me some 6 seconds till I could hear her. I told her that I have those problems with hearing again and we chatted a bit. She was so nice and spoke slowly and with her lips you like expressing it more so I was able to comprehend. She did also sign a bit when I couldn't hear what she was saying, which was cool. I so miss sign language and I'm so out of the course right now. I feel like I forgot most of it.

Anyway, she told me that there's a free group meeting I think on Monday, not sure if I did understand her right, and everyone can come and practice a bit with the other people. I will have to send the deaf center an email asking when that is. I'm not sure that I got the information right. She did show me a message telling her when that meeting would be but I had no notes with me so I couldn't take notes and now I think I forgot the details*lol*. Anyhow, I look forward to next week to meet the group.

Day 11| Still feeling tired

Hi there!!

I finally got into the groove of blogging regularly. I have time now that I'm on sick leave and don't know what else to do or how else to use me time. I can't watch TV, I mean I can but the voices are really hard to hear and I understand very little and it's frustrating so I'll do other things instead. Here's what I found today. One of my copies from my hearing curve from last year. My current hearing is lower than on this picture here but I thought to share. It's quite unusual isn't it?

I wonder if anyone is reading this *lol* I changed the settings so anyone can comment and it's very easy so if you want *lol* leave me a comment and say hi! =)
I've been decluttering my room this morning and I can't believe how hard it can to get rid of all the papers that were here and there. I had lots of notes, print-outs and things and it was hard to throw them away. Uh, *lol* am I the only one who has that problem? Hm, I wonder.... =) I'm a writer and I love paper and I always think 'hm, I could need that note.' I need to get better organised and keep those little notes somewhere in a folder, all in one place and not spread out everywhere.
This is so frustrating ... my internet connection cut me off and I lost the last bit of my blog post grrrr.... so I'll make it short. I said that now that I cannot hear so well I'll use this time to blog regularly and my little challenge for this month will be that I want to try to write one poem a day, which is already a lot as it's not always easy to come up with ideas but I had good practice. I've been writing for almost a year so that's good! Now that I am on sick leave I have to use somehow my time efficiently and I'll do this for some time. So there, I'll end this blog here. You'll hear from me tomorrow!
Thanks for reading!! =)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 10 | Why do I feel so strange?

Why do I feel so kinda blah today??
Feeling blue
I cannot explain. I feel tired most of the time and I am not sure if that comes from my tinnitus or maybe because today a year ago my grandpa passed away and it makes me upset but I don't feel that sad. I was able to put the grief to an end. I sleep 8 hours more than what I used to sleep when I was working and I still feel very exhausted. I don't do any physical work that I could blame and I still feel very weak and exhausted. Could it be that this tinnitus that I constantly hear makes me feel tired because I cannot fall asleep easily at night and that it takes me some time till I'm in deep sleep? I mean I don't do any hard work and I still feel tired and cannot be outside for so long.

I went out for a walk, was sitting on a bench when I almost fell asleep there, how weird :) I feel so exhausted and constantly hear this ringing in my head it's really annoying.... I know I just have to be patient but for how long?
I picked up my x-rays today and they seem to be okay. They checked my petrosal bone, all is normal and okay. So I'll have to wait for the other MRI check before I can speak with my doctor about the implant. Right now I'm not that scared. I drove myself crazy in the past few days that now I'm relatively calm :) but I know this won't last for long. When it gets serious and I'll know my operation date I'll be pretty nervous ....

Monday, March 8, 2010

Hearing loss | Day 9 My hearing curve

Can you see my curve? That was made when I went to my acoustician a few days after my acute hearing loss. It's almost at the bottom and it totally sucks... but well... I hope better times will come.

Right now, on my 9th day I think I do hear a bit!!! =) It's strange I cannot really explain it. I feel like that I can hear more than what I used to but still not very much to comprehend. People still have to shout so that I could hear a wee bit but I can hear a bit. Nonetheless I'll go for the cochlear implant operation as I want to hear 80 % or more and not just a little bit. It's already very hard this way but I want it to get better. I know things will get better I am just scared of that what's to come this new hearing as I've never experience it. It makes me feel scared.

Will my ear be able to adopt that new hearing this implant in my head? Will it be able to work well? You know I have thousand questions right now. Will also my tinnitus disappear after the operation? I mean I can bear this sound in my head but it's really distracting and I'm not sure if this is why I feel so tired? I mean I have my 7h of sleep but still right now when all this is happening I feel more tired than before. Maybe this rushing noise makes me exhausted? What do you think?

Hearing loss | Day 7 lots of headache ....

Hi there! 

On Sunday, I went out for a little walk. It was snowing overnight and we had lots of snow here. I felt much better after my little blackout and wanted to get out a bit, so as not to stay inside. It was good for my head to get some fresh air.

I must admit that later I did have some headache but maybe because it was an exhausting day and I didn't take a nap during the day. If I had, it would have messed up my whole sleep at night so I didn't ...

I'll keep this blog today short and will write more soon! :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

I passed out | and slight headache afterwards

Can you believe? Last night I passed out ... I mean I had a blackout, can you believe?? Wow, it's scary when I think about it.

It happened all so fast that I still cannot believe it. I went to the toilet and then all of a sudden I just saw everything black although my eyes were open. I stood up and after a few seconds later my brother found me on the floor laying there. Gosh.... I only heard this 'bang' and was on the ground. I'm not sure how long I've been without consciousness but I guess it was a short time. Later I felt okay but my head was hurting me badly. I my right side of the head and instead of going to the doctor I went later to bed. I just had to rest my head. I couldn't immediately fall asleep. I sleep very bad that day. I mean I woke up at about 3.30 AM and couldn't sleep anymore. My head wasn't hurting me anymore but still.... I have no idea what caused the blackout, maybe it was my circulation or just my equilibrium sense or something else.
At present I'm doing okay, still my head hurts when I touch that spot where hit myself but otherwise I'm fine. I mean I do feel like I have slight headache but that's because of the fact that I fell. Tomorrow I'll go to my doctor to get that x-ray done which I need for the pre operation check ups for the cochlear implant so I'll tell him that I had a blackout.
I still have that rushing noise in my head and it's driving me crazy. Well I can live with it but it makes me mentally exhausted and I cannot do much because of that. I don't know what else to say. It was a really crazy day for me last night and I wish it will not repeat itself again!!!!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Acute hearing loss| wired for sound

Hi there!

I guess it's time to update this blog again. Now I'd have the time and I cannot do anything else so...

Where do I begin? I hope some of you will find this interesting. I will try to keep this blog active and share my new journey into hearing. I just started with a new job and all of a sudden I got this acute hearing loss. I had one two years ago and got a hearing aid and was able to hear quite well. NOW even with my hearing aid I cannot hear so well. It's set up so loud that I already feel the vibration in my ear drums which isn't good but otherwise I cannot hear. I mean even this way it's hard to follow a conversation. I really have to concentrate a lot to comprehend. This really sucks. I know it's not the end of the world but when you got used to hear it's hard...

It's my 6th day since I lost my hearing overnight and I constantly hear this rushing noise in my ear. It's driving my crazy. It's only me who can hear it. Since Thursday I'm not on medication anymore and not on infusion either, so I'm at home & have to rest. I'll have a couple of check-ups in the next few weeks, those so-called pre check-ups for the cochlear implant. I'm really scared...

I know it will help me to hear again but I haven't thought that I'd really need it one day. :S
Don't know what else to say but I finally found the bug to write again :)

Will write very soon!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Sore ear | yeah ...

I'll keep this short as I'll soon go to work... my ear is still sore yeah ... I'm making a big deal out of it *lol* Somehow two days weren't enough to heal ... I feel better if I don't wear my hearing aid, less pain *lol* so I wonder should I wear it at work? Did u notice I write less about phone calls because I don't have to make them right now. So would it be okay if I tell them like I'm going to take it off for a while as it hurts or I'll bear the pain? hm, I have no idea I'll figure it out at work.

Until later .... :)
P.S. I removed the picture *lol* it just looks so gross ... :)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Where do I begin | WHERE??? | Ear pain yes....

Hey my friends!!! I am really sorry for not writing so much ... shame on me *lol* sorry, but I just got so busy and so fucking tired that I had no power to write when I came home. I mean I did a lot of writing in the past few days but just some poems and a bit on my novel and nothing more beyond that :)

My left ear is a bit sore ... somehow since I got my new glasses they pushed my hearing aid a bit and now I have a sore spot inside my ear and it hurts when I wear my hearing aid. It actually looks worse than this but I won't post it *lol*, there are worse things that can happen though as long as I don't wear my hearing aid I am fine but how can I not when I meet often people or when I go out and want to hear? What if bump into someone who wants to talk to me? At least right now I have the choice to wear it or not and I choose wear it and bear the pain but right now I took it off and I'll go for a little evening walk. The cold breeze outside, after the rain, will do good to my ear :)

I can't think of anything else to say although there's a lot more to write about but will do it later :) Thanks for reading.
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